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Eyes of Distortion
hisownshadow.livejournal.com
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It's not that I look for good plot in porn, but when a guy comes to your door and says "My car broke down, can I please use your phone?", it doesn't even past the test of reality to respond "Sure, but you look more like you could use a hot shower." And then the other guy agrees? The two things aren't even similar!! It's like ordering lobster at a restaurant, and the waiter saying, "Well sure, but I have a half-eaten cheeseburger from McDonalds in the back that might be more to your liking."
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We have compared your answers with people who have been diagnosed with sex addiction. Your answers HAVE MET a score on basis of six the criteria that indicate sex addiction is present. In addition there are certain subscales to further confirm that a problem exists. The following patterns emerged in your answers:

· A profile consistent with men who struggle with sexually compulsive behavior
· A profile consistent with homosexual men who struggle with sexually compulsive behavior
· A profile consistent with sex addicts who struggle with sexually compulsive behavior on-line

The SAST measures key characteristics of addiction. The following dimensions of an addictive disorder appeared in your answers:

· Preoccupation: obsessive thinking about sexual behavior, opportunities, and fantasies
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Bruised nipples Chapped
lips I told him I was
leaving and he threw
me to the ground where
tears were unable to be
distinguished from the
pouring sweat from the
explosion of semen That's
some goodbye, I said to
him, but it's still
Goodbye
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Religion has the potential to make
people lazy, compliant, unfazed
by their circumstances I told the
austerely Catholic boy over a
drink The same one who had insisted
that we go find mass just after
fucking on a long ago Sunday
morning I'm willing to trade happiness
for stability he told me He was
at once truthful and regretful with
these words and I had to bite
my tongue I don't believe in
believing that we're just here
to exist until we go somewhere
better As if life and this earth
was just the practice round for
everything else That's blind
faith I told him A little too
blind
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Morning panic attack begets Xanax and
subsequent lethargy that accompanies He
tries every alternative before resorting
to this He tries the vodka one big gulp He
tries to know that it's all in his
head that nothing is really happening
at all Nonetheless, the Xanax He takes
it and it takes him And it takes him to
the couch at 122pm not watching some
mindless shit on the television with
a glass of wine This is what we call
calling it a day.

He & B were talking a few days ago and a
fantasy that he had no idea he harbored
crossed his lips involving rope
and a blindfold Yes rope and a
blindfold Hands behind your back, eyes
covered, he touches you, he touches you
in places that you won't know The only
promise the only rule to the game is that
the intent of the one touching must be
sexual and what he finds all too
thrilling is that everyone's version of
a turn on is completely different.
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Mess this is Jason
Mraz might say Someone told
me once that I draw my lines in
funny places and I said at
the time that maybe we all do but
this time I didn't draw it
anywhere funny or otherwise This
time there was no line And as
a result I'm in love and as a
result I'm shocked, maybe
shocked isn't the right term I've
done this once before but
it's fair to say that I'm a bit
disturbed that I could hurt
someone in the process of pleasing
myself I guess for every upturn
there's a downturn We all depend on
the world's equilibrium to keep us
somewhere around a seven on the pH
scale I'm sleeping more than
normal a likely result of this
beautiful mess Sleeping is
dreaming but more importantly sleep
is not being awake At least for a
little while
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You just pose it as a joke he
said on the subject of
threesomes Act like you're
kidding and see what his
reaction is We always talk
deep when we're high and maybe
I shouldn't have brought it
up at all He didn't interpret
this as a suggestion that he
was the one for this, or maybe
he did, maybe he was just
being coy and and maybe that
was our way of not going any
further for

Now

He brings up an interesting
point that those people who
don't identify who are not
partisan sexual but sexual
in general, students of
Kinsey, may be turned
off from same sex activity based
solely upon media portrayal I
had never really thought of
it in this light before but really
I would have a hard time
identifying with any gay
character on this movie
or that TV

Show

Me the guy from the high
school reunion who had a
good friend base back then and
has since came out and I'll show
you a group of friends who are
more inclined to find this to be
a moot point While those who
did not know him and have
been exposed only to a
limited amount of what the media
offers to its viewers may
be less accepting of the
boy from twenty years
ago
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Valium makes him loopy - loopier, she
corrected They correct me allow me
to maintain and thus a package will
arrive from my mother this week This
nervous system I've been both haunted
and blessed with Yes it is beneficial at
times Its unorthodox frenzy Yet it is just
as often in peril out of whack Returning
from New York I consumed two Klonopins one
vodka drink and a half bottle of Fish
Eye chardonnay I didn't
even desire these drinks it's simply a
matter and a method of system
management At a bar in the East Village last
week I read in the bathroom
stall that insanity is doing the
same thing over and over and
expecting a different result I
suppose that is quite true Repetition is
to yield a set result and when it
does not, well, either the task in itself does
not make sense, or you don't
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There were whole
rooms of graffiti on
purpose I guess A boy
was there with a belt made
of bullets I would have
taken every last shot She
handed me a wad of liquor
soaked dollars and it all
reminded me a bit of dancing
with the girl, years
ago, dancing with her on that
platform she was my bar
tender(ess) turned partner in
debauch and didn't she move up
here, to NYC, or does it just
seem like she should have I
did enjoy the mix of
crowd everyone from spike
haired punks to the collared
financial district working
youth danced about in this
clandestine basement, all
as one body in zealous
accord
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